What does a toxic friend act like?
Toxic friends, however, often present as selfish and challenging. They may struggle with healthy communication and become aggressive, passive-aggressive, or dismissive when they don't get what they want. They may also depend on you for validation or comfort, exhibiting a range of attention-seeking behaviors.
- They disrespect your boundaries. ...
- They always need something from you. ...
- They don't take accountability. ...
- They may weaponize their struggles. ...
- They make you feel guilty for spending time with other people. ...
- They dismiss your values. ...
- They ignore your efforts to be a good friend to them.
Unlike other people in your circle of friends, toxic friends rarely compliment or praise you. In fact, they never gas you up nor congratulate you on your achievements. Instead, they're much more likely to kick you when you're down and rarely make you feel good about yourself.
You can tell a friend is toxic when they "cause stress and sadness or anxiety," she continues, and "doesn't help you be who you want to be." And if all that weren't enough, a toxic friendship can also drain you and make you doubt yourself.
You're a toxic friend if you try to distance your friend from others, such as their partner, and if you try to control everything. You might control how you see each other, when you do, what they're permitted to do. You're a toxic friend if you emotionally manipulate them.
In a toxic friendship, you never feel that support or compassion. You feel minimized when they brush off your problems or ignored outright if they never respond to your messages or requests for help. In short, they aren't there for you when you need a friend most.
If you have a friendship that you feel you are the only one that participates in, makes all the plans, always there for them without asking anything in return, you probably need to rethink the friendship. You should never feel emotionally drained or exhausted after talking to or spending time with them.
A toxic friendship group is one where members belittle each other, shame others into doing things or aren't willing to be there for their friends.
Toxic friends come in many different forms, and some don't fit neatly in one category. For example, you may have a jealous friend who also has a habit of lying to you or a judgmental friend who also likes to brag about their achievements. It's also helpful to know that some people are subtle toxic friends.
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.